Adoption

I’m just checking in to say “hi”!  I don’t have much to report, but don’t want you to stop checking in, either.  I guess the way to combat that is to post…something.  It isn’t that nothing has been going on.  Quite the contrary, I assure you.  It’s just that in all the business and with everything that is going…I don’t know what to single out.

The most significant thing I haven’t publically announced is that we have officially begun our home study.  If you know anything about adoption then you know a family needs to do a home study.  Sure, there are exceptions, but ours is underway.  This is exciting and intimidating at the same time.  Let me back up.

We’ve been considering adoption for quite some time.  How long is hard to pin down, but it has been growing the past couple years.  We thought we were “done” once our little bunch reached 5, but not so much anymore.  We feel a Biblical call to care for little ones who have no one to care for them.  We have been blessed so abundantly.  Why wouldn’t we freely share that with another/others?  We certainly have plenty of love and provisions to share.

In comes the intimidating part.  Having a child naturally doesn’t bring the onslaught of questions that adoption does.  You don’t get screened, scrutinized or dissected.  You have a few doctor appointments, go to the hospital for delivery, and go home.  Chris and I can remember thinking “You mean they are actually going to let us take her home?!?!” when it was time to check out of the hospital with Adeline.  Nobody questioned or doubted our ability to care for her.

On the other hand, the home study is making me feel completely inadequate when it comes to answering many specific questions.  I think it would be easier to answer if we didn’t already have children because then it would be “in theory we would do this” with our children.  Instead, I have to tell it like it is and we aren’t perfect around here.  Oh, and it would be great if I were the perfect mother and wife and never got upset with my kids or Chris.  That would solve a whole lot because then they wouldn’t be putting our many pitfalls under a microscope.  Now, I have a wonderful friend who has adopted and she assures me that if we looked and sounded perfect on paper then something would be fishy there (since no one is).  I have also read plenty of times that they aren’t out to “fail” you.  It sure seems like it though when they ask:

*Have you tried to overcome deficiencies in your background?

*How much time during the week do you and your spouse spend alone together, and do you think this is enough time?

*Describe your philosophy of disciplining children (be specific) , and how you would rate your effectiveness with your children up to this point.

These are not isolated questions.  There are 13 sections.  Each has many questions.  There are certainly more than 100 and they are supposed to be answered in paragraph format.  Yes, I’m intimidated!  My same friend who adopted once thinks it is a bit over the top and certainly more than they had to answer.  I’ll try to keep ya posted!

*photos from Christian Advocates for Adoption*

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2 Responses to Adoption

  1. troy says:

    “Having a child naturally doesn’t bring the onslaught of questions that adoption does.”

    That’s a great point …it’s almost like ‘If you can have one …you can keep one’, which often contributes to so many different problems down the road. Good luck on your ‘exam’.

  2. Good for you! We go to court tomorrow, we hope. We need the end to be in sight! Even though we have done this once now,(well almost once). The reward of Chloe makes us think we might do this again. Which is amazing that we would put ourselves through the scrutinizing again.

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